Our Brains are Sick
by Iluvbagels13
Summary: Santana loves Rachel. Rachel knows Santana loves her but she's in love with Quinn. Quinn is in love with Rachel but broke up with her because of fear of rejection. It's just your run of the mill day at McKinely High.
1. Chapter 1

Well hello party people, here is a new story that I want to break in. So please read, review and enjoy.

Disclaimers: Don't own Jack Shit! Glee or otherwise

 **Our Brains are Sick**

Santana Lopez can't help but smile, she hasn't slept this well in a long time. She cuddles closer into the naked body next to her. The smell of raspberry coffee brings back the memories of the night before. The gravity of the situation hits her directly in the heart. How can something that makes her feel, like she glows bright and can't stop smiling, be so wrong?

Oh right, because the person that makes her feel this way happens to be Quinn's. She knows she shouldn't stay and bask in all these wonderful but wrong feelings. However she can't seem to get herself to pull away. She has wanted this for so long. She never meant to fall in love with Rachel Berry but the girl made it nearly impossible not to.

For so long the thought of Rachel brought a pang of despair because she knew that they would never be together because of one pretty big caveat: Rachel is in love with Quinn and only Quinn. But in a perverse way right now, Santana has everything she ever wanted and she doesn't want reality to rain on it just yet. She doesn't want acid rain reality to stifle the imagery in her mind.

Shattering this illusion is the sharp knock on Rachel's bedroom door and Quinn's velvety voice.

 _"Rachel, baby, open the door, i'm so sorry about everything. I want to be with you, I can't be without you. Please open the door and be mine because I'll always be yours."_

Once Quinn started talking Rachel sat up. Her eyes widening as she looked underneath the covers to see she's naked and then she looks to go see who she had sex with, her heart gets strangled. It was Santana, out of all the people she could have had sex with!

Full on panic floods the diva's mind. The pure panic splays across her face completely prevalent. So Santana goes to hold Rachel's hands but she flinched away.

 _"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! How did I let this happen! How could I do this to Santana. Oh my how did I do this to Quinn. How can I be so in love with Quinn and mess everything up to entirely"_

Rachel springs out of bed and starts to pace. Quinn is still pleading outside the door. Santana whispers

 _"Rachel! Calm the fuck down!"_

Santana grabs a hold of Rachel and sits her down on the bed, strangely enough them both being naked and sitting next to each other.

 _"Okay I've calmed down now hide somewhere and I'll think of a way to lure Quinn out of my room."_

Santana goes and hides in the closet; the heavy shade of irony is not lost.

Rachel goes and unlocks the door and quickly throws herself under the covers.

 _"Door is open. Please come on in Quinn."_

Quinn opens the door ever so slightly. Stepping in so precariously and looks at Rachel with an over exhausted down trodden expression. The blonde cheerleader quickly closes the gap between them. She sits on the edge of the bed right next to Rachel who is hiding under the covers.

Without any restraint the blonde kisses the diva soundly. Rachel couldn't help but moan at the feeling. Quinn was showing her how sorry she was about the fight and break up that happened a month or so before. Everything escalates pretty quickly because Quinn wants to show Rachel how much she means to her. The Head Cheerleader is pretty much straddling the diva as she takes off her shirt.

The cheerleader starts to kiss down the diva's neck. Rachel was too entranced with the feeling of Quinn that she forgot she was naked. Quinn starts to peel off the covers to see her ex-girlfriend is very naked underneath the covers. The Queen bitch is slightly confused but doesn't let it deter her and continues to kiss Rachel. Pulling back hazel meets chestnut.

 _"God I love you. Please forgive me Rachel! We broke up over such stupid reasons! I just can't believe I broke up with you because you wanted to be with me. I just thought it'd be better if you were without me because I didn't want to hold you back, because we all know I'm going to be stuck in Lima."_

Rachel goes to speak but Quinn holds her hand out in defiance.

 _"Just let me finish, I've been miserable since I broke up with you last month. Today would have been our one year annivrsery. I couldn't let you go you were all I thought about for the past month and I realized what you said was true that we still have a year to be with each other. We are only Juniors in high school. I guess I was just scared that I'd lose you. I hated seeing you so hurt and the things that you did, I can't believe you'd do such things Rachel! I had Santana coming to me scared to death for you. For some silly reason I thought it would be better without you. I wanted to not inhibit you. Rachel you have to promise me you'll go to New York no matter what, but you also have to promise me that we'll stay together till you have to leave."_

The diva carefully and lovingly wipes the tears streaming down Quinn's face kissing her chaistly.

 _"Baby, you won't ever lose me because I know you'll be leaving with me. Your destined for so much more. You may not end up in New York with me, as much as I would love that, I want you to chase your dreams and we'd make it work even if I had to fly across the country every weekend to see you."_

 _"I, uh, I just love you so much Rach."_

They lock lips and Rachel can't help, but moan at the touch of her lover's lips. She's missed the intoxicating aroma and her silky soft lips. Like a heavy dose of heroine straight to the heart Rachel stopped once she tasted the lip gloss on her lips. What happened the night before comes flooding back filling the pool of her guilt.

"Rachel? Are you here?"

Santana walks into the Diva's room with a furrowed brow. She's been looking for this girl all night with no luck at finding her. This pit in her stomach wouldn't let her just go have fun. The fact that the girl she is in love with seemed to be missing. Nobody had seen her for the past 24 hours which was very rare. Rachel was always the social type and for her to be hiding something had to be wrong.

Obviously the Diva had changed a lot since last month because of the break up of Faberry. The brunette took it extremely hard and everybody knew she would. The thing about Rachel was the she loved hard and ferociously. This was something both Quinn and Santana loved so dearly about the girl.

The Diva kept her pain so locked up inside that even people closest to her didn't notice just how much the breakup affected her. The dark path she was being led down by her heart break was something cruel and vicious. It lead Rachel to hit a very scary point to where Santana found her over dosed on Heroine in a dingy alleyway. The only reason Santana found her was because she was walking around the downtown area looking for Rachel while calling her phone. The fiery Latina was about to give up hope after looking for about three hours to hear the ringtone as her heart stopped.

The freaked 2nd in command had run through the ally to find the barely breathing and very pale once glorious Diva. Santana had heard her distraught screams echo in her ears almost as loud as the pounding in her ears. The Latina had no idea what to do so she just slapped the unconscious girl before her. When nothing happened the girl had picked up the diva and ran towards the girl's house. Once there with the agility of a puma she had got her up the stairs and into Rachel's bath tub.

Quickly Santana filled the tub with hot water and kept splashing water on Rachel's face when the unconscious Diva started to stir. Rachel tried to say something but quickly Santana shushed her and she was so elated that she pushed forward and kissed the girl's lips. The Cheerleader quickly pushed back once she realized what she had done.

 _"I'm so sorry, Rachel. I just—"_

Rachel seemed to be nodding off so once again Santana had shaken her awake. The girl did end up being alright but Santana couldn't forget about the kiss Rachel obviously forgot.

Since the girl was missing once again Santana could only think of the worst case scenario, her Rachel once again overdosing.

The Cheerleader pushes open the girl's bedroom door to see Rachel dancing around in some skimpy lingerie listening to god knows what through her headphones. That's when Santana saw the empty bottle of Grey Goose and a fifth of Bacardi 151 left. Rachel spins around and sees Santana throwing her arms around the neck of the Latina that's flushed red.

 _"Tana hey! You come over to party?"_

The drunk girl passes the Bacardi to Santana who figures what the hell and takes a swig of the fiery liquid burning her trachea but making what she wants to do and what she should do very blurry.

The Latina ended up drunk, nowhere near as much as the Diva but they both had their inhibitions close to hell. So when they danced and held each other close they didn't shy away like they were accustomed to. With a failed twist they hit the floor with Rachel pinning Santana down to the ground. They both knew that they should get up and just shrug it off but with the alcohol buzzing through their system and just the meer fact of the extra heated touch had them both going crazy. It didn't help that they were just so close to each other, barely millimeters between their lips. With one ragged breath from Santana the gap was closed and they tumble down this path of betrayal intertwined.

Shaking her head of those images Rachel continues

 _"Quinn I need to—"_

 _"You don't have to say it Rachel, I can obviously tell you slept with someone. You didn't do any thing wrong since we've been broken up for a while now. It hurt to know but as long as you say your mine everything will be fine."_

 _"I've always been your's, I belong to you Quinn. I always have been, even before we started dating I kept finding my self following you like a lost puppy. Last night I was hurt but I spent the entire night wishing it was you."_

A shotgun blast to the heart would have been a cleaner causality to what Santana's heart became. Her heart couldn't take any more of this torture. Her heart is nonexistent, the ghost of her heart is what keeps pumping blood through her veins but she just feels so numb. The fact that nothing could be heard in the other room let's Santana's mind go wild with offending scenarios that could be happening mere feet from her. All this bitch karma is coming back to bite her in the ass right this minute.

Rachel almost isn't able to pull away from the most delectable lips of her girlfriend. But she has to because her best friend is still in the closet.

 _"Quinn, stop, I want to start our relationship right. I want to take you out for a romantic tonight so go and get ready I'll pick you up around eight sharp. Please let me do this for you."_

 _"One more kiss for the road?"_

 _"You know I can't say no to you."_

They kiss and it feels like an eternity for Santana as she feels like her insides are being squished atom by atom.

So what did you guys think? Liking it?

Please Review! Till next update!


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! I'm so glad you like the story. It is one of those stories that pulls at your heart strings but bear with me there will be happy times soon enough! Thanks for all the reviews! Without further ado Read, Review and Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimers: Don't own anything Glee related. The song in this fic is by Blink-182.**

 **Chapter 2**

The diva counts to ten after Quinn leaves her room. She quickly makes way to her closet to see Santana curled up against the wall hugging her knees. The distraught and shattered look upon her face forever engrained in her long term memory. Santana has her face contorted into such pain that it sucker punched Rachel straight into the kidney. The Diva feels like she's trying to gasp for air. Falling straight down onto her knees right in front of Santana.

 _"I'm so sorry. I'm just so sorry! I don't know what else to say. I-I shouldn't have done this to you. Santana i'm just so sorry but Quinn is my heart. She's the love of my life and I can't stop being so in love with her. I shouldn't have let this escalate to the point that happened."_

Rachel can't even bring herself to try and comfort Santana for fear that she will destroy the rest of Santana's ghost heart.

 _"I wish I could comfort you, S. But this whole situation has just changed everything. Our whole relationship can never go back to being best friends can it? Of course we can't I've done the most despicable act ever. I can't believe I took advantage of you! You were just trying to be my best friend, my rock, through this horrid time. I've known about your feelings for me and I still—"_

 _"You knew I had feelings for you?"_

 _"How long have we've been friends? Tana I know you better than anyone."_

This whole conversation was done without either of them looking at each other. It was all said with hushed tones and uncertain body language.

 _"Then I guess you know how much last night meant to me. Of course I feel awful because of Quinn but I couldn't, for selfish and bitchy reasons, I couldn't stop you. It was something I had wanted for so long. I thought that might squish these feelings for you. But last night, last night. I can't even explain. I can still feel your skin on me. It seriously was one of the best nights of my life. Your touch, your lips, my god your tongue, I just can't stop thinking about it and how you just made me feel. The way you looked at me, it was different then anybody has ever looked at me. It looked as if you loved me. Oh fuck, this is bad Rae, Quinn is my best friend and I fell in love with her girlfriend."_

By this point Santana is openly crying and sobbing.

 _"I'm a terrible person!"_

Hearing Santana cry, the toughest girl Rachel had ever known, broke the Diva out of her trance and she scooted over wrapping her arms around the sobbing Latina.

 _"You're not a terrible person Tana, you can't help who you fall in love with. Just like I can't help but be in love with Quinn. I wish I could love you like you love me. I hate that I'm causing you so much pain. I'll never forgive myself for doing this to you."_

 _"Rae, i've already forgiven you, considering you forgave me for being such a bitch to you."_

 _"I love you, Tana. Just—"_

 _"Don't say it, please, I know."_

 _"We have to tell Quinn."_

 _"I know, but can't we stay here for a little bit longer?"_

Santana cuddles deeper into Rachel's side.

 _"Anything for you Tana"_

Under her breath and more to herself Santana whispers

 _"Except what I want."_

They stay tightly knit together. The time sways and waves past sowing the oats of their forever blooming friendship. This situation couldn't be more complicated but neither one of the two girls would walk away from their friendship. It means too much to both of them, making it hurt even more. There is no winning in this situation.

Rachel can't seem to get enough air into her lungs. The quiet let her mind process what just happened. Now the gravity is causing her fingers to twitch. Gravity has started to weigh down upon her body. Her fingers feel cold and all her mind is doing is screaming at her to run. Santana felt when Rachel became ridged, ram rod straight. The usually warm touch of the diva is now ice cold. The Latina looks up into Rachel's eyes and she sees what she feared full blown pupils and eyes darting in all directions.

 _"Rae? Please calm down."_

 _"But Tana, I love Quinn. I can't believe I did this to her! How could I betray her like this? I need to make it up to her I need to— Wait! I still have the ring from before, I can—I can fix this!"_

This All came out in a fast paced string of words that Santana almost didn't understand what she said. The Latina knows she has to talk the diva down like she's had to do several times before. She doesn't want to relive what happened a couple days ago. It scared her so bad that she tried her best not to leave the Diva's side since the incident. Santana didn't tell Quinn what happened but she did break down in front of her.

Without any hesitance Rachel springs up.

 _"Tana I'm so sorry but I really have to do this."_

The diva takes quick decisive steps toward a heat-shaped chest that was given to her by Santana. The sentiment behind the gift wasn't lost on either girl, but neither of them would bring it up, for the fear of the aftermath.

Opening it with the key that is on the chain around her neck Rachel opens the chest pulling out a small teal colored box. Santana's eyes comically bulge out of her eye sockets causing a deep throbbing in her temporal lobes. So many questions, the cheerleader is reeling, the only coherent thought that she could articulate is

 _"What!?"_

 _"My Dads' are loaded. Don't feel bad that you didn't notice i've become good at hiding the fact that my dads aren't around much and simply throw money at me. With my dads resources I was able to get some of my poetry published and it sold quite a few copies, yet I signed it as anonymous. With that money I bought Quinn this ring. I had finally been able to pay for it right before Quinn broke up with me. I had it all planned out for this very day! I'm so fucking happy that I kept the ring because it's perfect."_

The box clicks open and Santana almost goes blind from the huge shimmering off the 2K diamond set on a channel set encrusted band with brilliant diamonds having the classic Tiffany's six prong setting. Santana swooned at the mere sentiment. Quinn would love it, it's classically beautiful just like her. Even though it hurts to think Santana knows they are perfect for each other, she won't stand in the way.

 _"Don't tell her, don't tell her you slept with me. She already forgave you and there is no reason for her to know. So go and propose to her."_

 _"Thank You Tana, I love you."_

A tight clench of the Latina's heart.

 _"I love you too."_

With tornado speed Rachel is out of the room, leaving a ghost-hearted Santana clenching at her void. Smiling and holding onto the ring box Rachel starts to walk towards Quinn's house. She can feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins. The elation she feels makes her just want to sing at the top of her lungs, so she does. Humming it till she gets to Quinn's house. She stands to the side and she could see Quinn sitting at the nook reading in her room.

Rachel hadn't climbed up this tree, by Quinn's window, since Freshman year because she no longer had to sneak into the house. Judy had welcomed her in with open arms after she had left Russell. For the longest time Rachel and Quinn were just best friends till things changed the summer after Sophomore year.

With the guitar on her back (a guitar she bought on her way to Quinn's house) she climbed up the tree and got good footing and she played the first notes singing ensuite:

 _ **Hello there the angel from my nightmare**_

 _ **The shadow in the background of the morgue**_

 _ **The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley**_

 _ **We can live like Jack and Sally if we want**_

 _ **Where you can always find me**_

 _ **And we'll have Halloween on Christmas**_

 _ **And in the night we'll wish this never ends**_

 _ **We'll wish this never ends**_

By this time Quinn has opened the window and is staring at Rachel with shimmering lovesick eyes. Without hesitation she sings the next verse:

 _ **Where are you and i'm so sorry**_

 _ **I cannot sleep i cannot dream tonight**_

 _ **I need somebody and always**_

 _ **This sick strange darkness**_

 _ **Comes creeping on so haunting every time**_

 _ **And as I stared I counted**_

 _ **The webs from all the spiders**_

 _ **Catching things and eating their insides**_

 _ **Like indecision to call you**_

 _ **And hear your voice of treason**_

 _ **Will you come home and stop the pain tonight**_

 _ **Stop this pain tonight.**_

Together they harmonize the chorus:

 _ **Don't waste your time on me you're already**_

 _ **The Voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)**_

 _ **Don't waste your time on me you're already**_

 _ **The Voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)**_

Looking deep into each other's eyes they continue and finish the song.

Rachel flips the guitar to her back and she leans forward across the tree to kiss Quinn who was sitting upon the window sill. The HBIC pulls Rachel into her room and kisses Rachel again. The diva puts some distance between them, through her lashes she stares adoringly at the cheerleader

 _"I don't ever want to miss you and I don't ever want for you to miss me. We are endgame."_

With that said Rachel pulls the box out of her pocket and gets on one knee

 _"Lucy Quinn Fabray, I've fallen so completely in love with you. So will you for the rest of our lives fall with me? Will you please be here so we can put each other back together? Will you marry me?"_

Since Rachel started talking Quinn has had silent tears rolling down her cheeks. By the end she has her hands making a tepee over her nose staring directly at Rachel. As the last syllable of 'me' ends, Quinn lunges at Rachel kissing her soundly and pulls away just enough so that Rachel can slide the ring on her finger and they put their foreheads together.

 _"So that's a yes?"_

 _"Shut up, Smart Ass and just kiss me?"_

Their lips touch and they move perfectly together.

 _"I could do this forever."_

 _"Well, you just promised you would."_

 _"I love you."_

 _"I love you more."_

 _"If you say so"_

Rachel contently wraps her arms around Quinn. She could never get enough of this girl. She would spend the rest of time holding her close like this. Never again will she lose her. She'd hand cuff herself to the girl if they didn't have their own lives to live.

All these emotions thrive and flood the limbic system of Rachel's brain. With the pulsating rave going inside her brain she grabs harder onto Quinn and the cheerleader just loves the feeling and all the wonderful wonderment that being with this girl makes her feel. Rachel makes her feel something other than loathing and inadequacies. With Rachel she feels good enough, she feels as if she is perfect just the way she is; the diva has shown her that she matters, she Quinn Fabray, is the most important person in her life.

They lie down on the bed still knotted together. Quinn's head lies upon Rachel's chest and both sigh contently. Tonight isn't about the passion between them, it is about the beauty of their Union. These two just want to lay and feel each other's heart beats because it's been far too long since they reconnected. They simply let themselves relax and sleep.

 **See you guys next time! Please Review, it's lovely to hear from all of you!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey y'all! Read, Review and Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimers: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 3

All the while Quinn and Rachel reconnect Santana is sitting upon the bed, that her and Rachel not too long ago were tangled up in. The silent tears roll with mustang force, collapsing upon the unmade bed. Santana knew what she was getting into when they got together last night. The Latina knew it would hurt, but she had no idea watching Rachel leave would hurt her so much. Here she sits heart broken again. What is she to do now?

The Latina has tried to move on, god has she tried. But damn there in her perfect glory would be Rachel and all thoughts of someone else would disappear. Last night was the most confusing of them all. She knew what she was doing was wrong. She not only was betraying her best friend but also doing what she promised herself she'd never do, put her guard down. Santana had always come to the consensus that she shouldn't open her heart. The only example she has had are of her parents and they have two separate beds in their bedroom. She's supposed to know all the answers to tell her little sister.

Out of all the people she could have fallen for. Her damn best friend who was in love with her other best friend. Her timing was always off, she was dating Brittnay when Rachel came into their lives.

Freshman year of high school Britt, Quinn and Santana had been friends since middle school when they all joined the baby Cheerios to help them get into Cheerios and become super duper popular. This was when they first saw Rachel walk in with her too short skirt and that adorable reindeer sweater. The girl definitely had a pull to her. Santana couldn't keep her eyes to herself. She chastised herself because she loved BRITTNAY.

Quinn seemed to have a different way about showing how she felt in the form of a purple slushy. Santana felt like she had to join in because of peer pressure. But one week of torturing Rachel and the fact that she never broke down the Latina decided to be friends with her. She followed the girl into the bathroom saying how sorry she was. With a genuine Berry smile she let Santana help her clean up.

From that point on they were inseparable. This put a strain on her relationship with Brittnay even though they still continued to date. Quinn still hell-bent on burying how Rachel made her feel she constantly tried to make Rachel's life miserable. But underneath Santana's protection Quinn couldn't out right hate or throw slushies at Rachel. This allowed Rachel to wear her regular clothes to school: tight skinny jeans, chucks and plaid: Her Hipster-self. With this transformation it only fueled Quinn to hate on Rachel even more. The diva made her all hot and bothered, this caused her to be even more vicious fueled by her gay panic.

But by the end of freshman year Quinn couldn't hate the girl anymore. She had always been nice to Quinn. The dragons in her stomach kept evolving the more she caught the girl's eye. She finally accepted that she was in love with a girl and she was tired of hating her.

So that summer Rachel and Quinn got really close. Leaving Santana to be with Brittnay. That is when Britt was able to confirm that Santana had indeed fallen out of love with her. She could also tell that Santana was in love with Rachel. So Britt persuaded Santana that she should tell Rachel how she felt once she came back from camp. That same day Quinn confided in Britt and Santana that she was in love with Rachel.

This put a strain on Santana's heart what could she possibly do now. They were both in love with the same girl. The closer it came for Rachel's plane to land the more anxious the Latina got. But she knew what she felt and what she had to do.

The Latina quickly got up and scrambled her way to the really small airport in Columbus. Holding a dozen roses Santana walks into the airport. That's when she spots Quinn holding onto an arrangement of gardenias.

So Santana hid toward the back of the crowd. She was too curious to see how Rachel would react to Quinn so she waited. Hoping that Rachel would turn Quinn down, the Latina sees Quinn's shocked expression so she looks forward and sees what shocked Quinn so much. Walking hand and hand is Rachel holding another girl's hand. The squeezed pressure on Santana's heart lessens when she thinks 'Hey they are just friends'.

But that is quickly shattered when they kiss so passionately luggage is hitting the ground along with the gardenias. That's when she sees Quinn leaving in haste wiping underneath her eyes. The Latina however was rooted to the spot. Not able to look away from the girl who unknowingly was machine gunning her heart, holes everywhere.

The rage started to infect the vicious Latina. It coursed through her system till it flowed and drowned her brain. Now who the fuck was this bitch and why was she all over her Rachel? She chided herself saying it's Quinn's Rachel. The anger was simmering, it was on the point of boiling over. But she knew she couldn't just let go. She had no right to be mad. Rachel wasn't her's even though it hurt so much to admit it. The Raven-haired Cheerio feels her knees get weak and her lip quiver. With a swift turn the girl is running and shoving the stupid roses into the first trash can she saw.

On the drive back to Lima both Quinn and Santana had tears blurring their vision as their hands shook on the steering wheel. Both knew they had to keep it together and seem happy to see Rachel even though it destroys them inside.

They both met up at Rachel's house to help B with the party for Rachel. They both were glad for the distraction from their profound silence. Waiting for the diva to come through that door was like pulling teeth. The rattling of the door jab has both girls holding their breath. In walks Rachel with her face attached to the nameless girl's. Her shirt is being pulled off and over her head.

The crowd was completely silent as both girls continued getting intimate. There were even some people getting rather turned on and there were two who couldn't stand to look at that disgusting display of affection. The nameless girl let out a moan of Rachel as the aforementioned girl licked and sucked at her pulse point. Quickly Rachel gets rid of the other girl's shirt and they are kissing once again.

At that point Santana couldn't take it anymore and she yelled out surprise which started a chorus of awkward surprises as Rachel and the girl slightly pulled back and Rachel scans the crowd.

 _"Hey guys…What are you doing here?"_

Quinn spoke up first but she couldn't control the irritation in her voice.

 _"We threw a surprise Welcome Back party for you, but if we'd known you were bringing back, umm…"_

 _"Kitty…"_

 _"Yeah, if we'd have known you were going to bring Kitty and just have sex with her then and there."_

 _"Woah, Quinn you are way off base here! But it's not the time i'll explain everything down in the basement."_

Quinn and Santana follow Rachel who is holding Kitty's hand. Once they get to the basement Rachel plops on the couch with Kitty sitting on her lap. Both other girls sit in chairs across from the couch. Quinn with the same irritated attitude

 _"Well?"_

 _"I've known Kitty for a while. She's one of my friends from New York. When I went up there for camp we ran into each other and things just fell into place. She said yes to when I asked her to be my girlfriend."_

With that Kitty kisses Rachel and Quinn continues her tirade

 _"So, why is Kitty here? Shouldn't she be in New York?"_

 _"She's moving out here, one of my Dads have an opening and offered it to Kitty's mom so they are moving to Lima."_

 _"So, she's staying!"_

With that said Quinn storms out.

 _"Well, i'm glad that you, Tana, are happy for us."_

Springing up Santana very quietly says

 _"I just can't"_

And with that she leaves the room and Rachel just sits there wonderstruck.

 _"I don't think your friends like me Rae."_

 _"I'm sure they are just shocked but even if they don't like you, I very much do."_

They start to kiss once again and continue where they left off up stairs.

Santana curses herself for leaving her phone downstairs and goes to get her phone when she sees a very naked Rachel go down and Santana imagines that she's pretty good at it from the way Kitty moans her name. So she forgot about her phone and just left the god damn party into the backyard of the Berry house.

The treehouse up in the only tree in the back yard next to the pool seems like the only safe haven. So she climbs up the ladder to find Quinn slumped down against the wall of the house, openly sobbing. Santana can't help but feel bad for Q, the distraught Blonde was the epitome of how she felt inside. Quinn doesn't even look up but Santana sits next to her and gives her a reassuring hug, crying herself but not for the reason Quinn thinks, it's not because Santana's sad for Quinn but because she's broken as well.

After a while of silent sobbing Quinn in a hoarse voice says

 _"I've lost her, haven't I?"_

 _"Well, I walked in on them fucking so I would say so."_

 _"What?"_

With that Quinn scrambles back away from Santana.

 _"You thought they weren't getting it on? C'mon Q you saw how they were when they walked in all over each other!"_

 _"But, that's not how this was supposed to be!"_

 _"Oh Q, you thought you'd lose your virginity together."_

 _"That's how it's meant to be S! Who is this Kitty anyway?"_

 _"Rachel's girlfriend and you are just going to have to accept that, Q."_

 _"This isn't the end, dammit, this isn't how it's going to be, Rachel is mine she has always been and always will be!"_

 _"Woah, Q, relax."_

 _"Shut up S, I just can't deal with this."_

Quinn quickly goes down the ladder and runs away. Now that Santana was alone she let her self falling apart punching and hitting anything and everything in her way till she hits the ground a bleeding crying mess.

If Quinn had lost what does that mean for her? It's one thing she definitely doesn't want to think about. That is the exact same mindset then that of Queen Quinn who has taken to running with no particular destination but simply numb. The cheerleader ran and even when she was panting. The blonde just knew that if she didn't keep running she would just break and she was a Fabray, Fabray's just couldn't. But finally the girl couldn't catch her breath and she crashed onto the grass. She recognized this area. It was a fairly alone and abandoned park which is what she loved about it.

What she didn't notice Rachel sitting on the decrepit swing set. With a compassionate look Rachel walks toward Quinn and just hugs Quinn tightly. At first Quinn was shocked but the comfort she felt quickly made that disappear.

 _"How'd you find me?"_

 _"I know you Q, you're my best friend. I'll always be here when you need me."_

 _"What about Kitty?"_

 _"She understands that I needed to come find you."_

 _"It's kinda hard to stay mad at a girl when she's being so nice."_

 _"Would you mind telling me why you don't like Kitty?"_

 _"It just took me by surprise, you never mentioned Kitty and we Skyped all the time during your time at camp."_

 _"We wanted to keep it under wraps, just stay in our little bubble before we had to come back to Lima."_

 _"What kind of camp was this again?"_

Rachel lightly pushes Quinn and they become in close proximity. Quinn can't help but gasp for breath. She is just so close, yet Quinn knows that she hasn't been further.

 _"Should I apologize to Kitty?"_

 _"Nope, she understands, plus you're still my best friend."_

Rachel pulls Quinn into a hug because Quinn is her best friend and she missed her. Quinn couldn't help but melt into the embrace. What was she supposed to do? These feelings aren't going to go away, she's tried to not feel this way about Rachel. Trying to hide all of this almost killed her.

In a very small voice

 _"I—I don't think I can continue doing this?"_

 _"Doing what?"_

 _"Being this close to you without being able to do this…"_

The ice queen closes the millimeters between her and her love. Their lips touch and Quinn loses her breath. She gives a sharp gasp and that's when Rachel kisses her back and Quinn can't help but smile. Being so close to this girl has Quinn reeling. Her lips are the best feeling against her own. There isn't any slobbering or haste like most boys. This is hands down the set kiss ever.

But it ends far too soon. Quinn quietly whines at the loss of the warm embrace.

 _"Your timing is horrible Quinn."_

That has the cheerleader sighing. She knows, she seriously knows.

 _"I get it okay. I know that I shouldn't have done that. But you can't stand there and tell me you didn't feel what I felt during that kiss. You took my breath away, that's never happened to me. That's the most i've felt in years. I haven't been able to tell you, but now you know, so we can finally be together."_

 _"Quinn, uh, it's not that easy. I do have a girlfriend, Kitty, remember? She's an amazing girl."_

 _"I know this is exceedingly selfish, and I said I wouldn't be a cheater ever again, but this is different. This is you and I, Faberry is end game."_

Those thoughts had always been in Rachel's head. She always thought they would be perfect together. But after pinning for sometime Rachel had given up and started dating other people. That is why she let Kitty in because she never thought Quinn would feel the same for her.

Now things have just become very messy and Rachel feels like she is drowning and she hates the feeling of drowning. Then again not many people actually like the feeling of drowning. But lack of control drives Rachel to do some pretty horrendous things. That is another thing that the diva doesn't like to think about. She happens to be a very repressed person but she also thanks all the fucking spirits and Cthuluhu for that defense mechanism that allowed her to forget.

If this had only been just before the summer it would have been perfect. Now wasn't the time for this to happen. Not when she has feelings for another girl. Kitty is a great girl and Rachel definitely doesn't have it within her to hurt the girl. On the other hand there is Quinn, the gorgeous girl that she has been pinning for wanting to be with her.

 _"Seriously Quinn, your timing is atrocious! Now that you see me with someone else you decide to confess your undying love! You have no idea how much I love you, but you make me so mad! How can you do this to me now? When you see me happy, does it make you feel better to turn my world upside down?"_

Quinn's response was written upon her face. The stone etched frown upon her once soft features.

 _"Oh, Quinn— I'm just— Uh i'm sorry. I don't even know what to say. I'm usually so well articulated but with you, less words is fine because you understand me and now I just don't know. Okay, Quinn, I don't know how to fix this!"_

Quinn is trying to keep it together she knew this was a bad idea. The cheerleader was about to stand up and leave when she was pulled into a fast and hard embrace. Once again their lips touch blowing both their brains out the back of their heads.

As quickly as the kiss started the faster it ended. Rachel pulled back faster them being electrocuted.

 _"I—I just can't Quinn."_

With that Rachel leaves a shocked blonde sitting on the ground. The diva leaves with hot tears streaming down her cheeks. Her breaths are exceedingly ragged all she wants to do is punch something.

Quinn simply stays staring after the girls retreating form. A piece of her heart is walking away. The blonde doesn't realize she's gotten up, she starts running towards her heart. Without any thought the cheerleader gets up and all but tackles the diva to the ground.

 _"I just can't let you leave."_

 _"But you have to."_

With a final kiss on the lips Rachel leaves and Quinn is left clutching at the grass. Later that night, around 2am Quinn is still staring out her window nook looking at the rain drips down her window much like the tears down her countenance.

However she sees a figure in the distance and she swears it has a lot of a likeness to her Rachel. So she blinks a couple times and yet Rachel still seems to be there. Quickly Quinn opens the window, yelling at Rachel.

 _"What the hell are you doing!"_

 _"It's over."_

 _"What?"_

 _"It's over, me and Kitty, I broke up with her. For all the reasons you said before."_

 _"Because of me?"_

 _"Everything I do is because of you Quinn. I'm hopelessly in love with you and I don't seem able to stop loving you nor do I want to because you're it for me."_

 _ **So you guys! what did you think? Please Review so I know that y'all like the story! Review! Till next time!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello one and all! So I know Santana has been a very one dimensional character in most of my stories and in this one. But she is more of a main character so you will see some growth with her character so please stick with it! Without further ado Read, Review, Enjoy.**

 **Disclaimers: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 4

After laying with Quinn in her arms for quite some time the intense backlash of what happened mere hours ago kept flooding Rachel's tumultuous mind. She knew what had transpired between her and Santana was wrong and she also knew that she had to tell her fiancee. With a kiss to Quinn's cheek Rachel talks

 _"You awake?"_

 _"Yeah"_

Quinn turns to face Rachel and sees the pained look upon her once blissful countenance.

 _"Rach, what's wrong?"_

 _"I need to tell you who it was Quinn, you have a right to know."_

 _"I've already forgiven you for that—"_

 _"Please I really need to tell you who I had this lapse of judgement with."_

 _"No— Rachel? It's someone I know isn't it?"_

All Rachel could do was nod with tears streaming down her face. The salt of the tears sting against her chapped lips.

 _"I'm so sorry to have to say this and I can't believe I let myself do this to you because I'm so in love with you. But—uh—Santana."_

 _"Santana? Santana Lopez? Our BEST-FRIEND Santana Lopez?"_

 _"Yes and I'm just so incredibly sorry."_

Quinn immediately shoots up in the bed.

 _"Rachel? Each, I don't even know. This is just—just too much."_

The aforementioned diva can't get herself to look into the eyes of the girl she loves.

 _"Quinn, I'm just so sorry. I have destroyed this amazing relationship between us. I've also destroyed my friendship with Santana. I knew how she felt about me but I was in such a downward spiral—"_

 _"Wait, she has feelings for you?"_

 _"Don't be mad at her, she wouldn't have done anything. I made the first move and we were both pretty inebriated and that led to these circumstances to happen."_

With this Rachel gets off the bed and looks straight at Quinn.

 _"I don't deserve you, but know that I love you. I'm going to keep on trying to make it up to you, until you take me back or tell me you don't love me anymore."_

With this said Rachel goes to leave but turns around

 _"Even if you can't forgive me, keep the ring, it was made especially for you and no one comes close to being as perfect as you to be able to wear that ring."_

Out the door goes the diva and she knows exactly where she has to go. Down the rehearsed path straight toward the house of her best friend. How the hell was she going to get Santana to forgive her?

Not giving herself enough time to second guess what she wanted to say she climbed up another tree, it's kind of her thing. The Diva looks in through the window to see Santana dancing around to the song Rachel hadn't heard in a while, she knew Vanilla Ice was a guilty pleasure of Santana's.

Leaning off one of the tree limbs she knocks on the window. Santana gets startled from the sudden intrusion.

 _"Santana, could you please open the window, I really want to apologize, please let me."_

Rachel stood straight and locked in her position.

 _"Please let me in. Please at least let me try to start to apologize."_

Santana knew they had to talk so she took in a deep breath and pops open the window. With a sigh of relief Rachel piles into Santana's room.

 _"Santana I know—"_

 _"Rachel, can you please just listen?"_

The diva just nods allowing Santana to continue.

 _"I understand that you don't love me like that and that you're with Quinn. I still do love you so I just need some time for it not to hurt so much."_

 _"I'll give you all the time you need, I just really want us to go back to normal."_

Santana gives Rachel a small sad smile. That's when Rachel leans forward to give the other girl a hug but Santana leans away.

 _"Too much?"_

 _"Yeah, just—I need some time away from you for a couple of days, okay?"_

So Rachel backs away. All the diva does is nod and walks out the window. Once her feet touch the ground the diva looks up at the window she just climbed out of and she starts walking in no particular direction. She shuffled and scuffed her chucks on the cement sidewalks.

Rachel can't help but think of the feeling of gravity thrusting her toward the center of molten hot fire. The diva feels disassociated from the present. That's when something breaks within Rachel. Her feet pound the pavement in a melodic rhythm that she can't seem to shake. Rachel could barely feel anything anymore. The pounding of her feet, the pain that shot up from her feet was a meer tickle upon her conscious. The girl needed something else, something more concrete. But the two people she would call she said she'd stay away from.

But then she saw the one person she knew wouldn't judge because the blonde just had the biggest heart out of anybody she knew.

 _"Rachel?"_

 _"I just can't anymore Britt."_

Hitting the ground, the agile blonde was able to cradle the shaking Brunette.

 _"You just got to give them time Rach. You kind of dropped a bombshell on both of them."_

 _"So you have known?"_

 _"Well, I am the only one left in the group that you haven't had sweet lady kisses with."_

The blonde's sparkling blue eyes wink at Rachel in jest. This cracked a smile on Rachel's face.

 _"I can't believe I did this, why in the world did I just create such chaos, why do I just destroy things?"_

 _"You don't destroy everything, just sometimes you make very irrational decisions! You just got a little greedy with your sweet lady kisses and you know Q and S don't like to share!"_

Brittnay winks at Rachel giving her a half hearted smile

 _"They will forgive you . You know they both love and adore you."_

 _"I'm just not sure I deserve a second chance. Why should they always have to put up with my crap? Quinn broke up with me, so that I wouldn't be able to hurt her anymore. Then t here is Santana who has always been there for me, through thick and thin. I decide to take the opportunity to make myself feel better and to hell with the rest! I had sex with her, destroying her, breaking her down to nothing. Simply for my own greedy love drunk self."_

Brittany has no idea what to say. This girl before her isn't the Rachel she knows something happened to this girl while she was dating Quinn. She hasn't told Quinn or Santana about it but Brittany instinctively knew the girl is definitely hiding something.

Back on Rachel's bed is a shell-shocked Quinn, she can't be mad at Rachel for what she did when they broke up. She knows she still loves Rachel. But she feels mad at Santana and she knows she shouldn't. Quinn knows jealousy is a horrible color on her.

The blonde throws herself on the bed exaggerated. All she knows is that she is madly in love with Rachel, Rachel is madly in love with her and Santana is madly in love with Rachel when did her life become so dramatic?

At the same time, this line of thinking was being held by the Latina a couple streets down. Santana refused to cry anymore and to feel sorry for herself. Sure the girl she loves is in love with someone else. But she is god damn Santana Lopez. It was her time to be happy. She got up off her bed and decided to get dressed and to hit the club scene. Putting on her tightest skinny jeans and a sheer white top with a dropping neckline. She decides on borrowing her mother's Louibitons and her Bvgalry ice. Her long black hair curling down with a Farrah Fawcett-esque hair flip.

Santana all but skips down her stairs and is out the door. Hopping into her Mercedes, that's when she's come to the conclusion that its like four in the afternoon on a Sunday. No club worth going to would be open. Not wanting her outfit to go to waste she decided to go to a coffee shop in the city far away from Lima.

She drives with ernest and angry music blaring through subs in the car. She gets near the coffee shop she found it's called Hemingway's Brew. She steps out of her parked car and sways her hips in sync with her strut. Once through the door, she is greeted by the cool and the warmly lit seating. She instantly feels at home, she's not sure if it's because of the place or because she spent time here with Rachel.

But no she wasn't going to think about that now. She would start making new memories without Rachel because she had to. The cheerleader walks up to the Barista who gives her a beaming smile

 _"Hey Tana Where's your better half?"_

 _"I'm flying solo tonight."_

 _"OMG, don't tell me Faberry is back together!"_

Santana looked straight toward the floor, so much for a fresh start the Latina thought.

 _"Dammit Danni, could you be anymore insensitive!"_

Was said by the other Barista, Jenny.

 _"Yeah, I should shut up now."_

Says a blushing Danni.

Over the course of the Faberry romance Santana started to spend a lot more time here at this coffee shop. It first started off as a way to get away from Rachel and how love sick she looked staring at Quinn. But Santana quickly grew fond of the atmosphere and came for the coffee and the peace and quiet. Most people didn't know but under the bitch and snarky attitude actually lay a very sensitive artistic girl. She of course loved to sing but her other passion in life was drawing. Santana always carries a sketch pad with her. It was more of a moleskin than anything else but it worked just as well. Most of the notebook at first had a bunch of sketches of parts of a girl's face, nothing was put together but a person who took enough time to even slightly pay attention could tell it was the same girl just in pieces.

Santana had been coming more regularly after Faberry was starting to get hot and heavy when the Barista by the name of Danni walked by Santana to find her drawing the eyes of this mystery girl. Danni couldn't look away from the eyes that Santana was drawing. How soft and slight Santana passed the pencil. How much attention she put into every little detail as if her life depended on it. Danni could clearly feel the passion Santana so bluntly felt for this girl. One syllable leaves Danni's lips

 _"Wow…"_

Santana's eyes shoot up while her hands cover her drawings. The Latina stares directly into Danni's eyes only to shy away from her gaze. At school Santana might be a tough bitch badass but when you catch her in this state she is extremely vulnerable. There has only been one other person to see Santana like this all wide eyed and pupils dilated and that's Rachel.

The Latina just shakes her head and tried to get up but a soft touch to her shoulder has her frozen.

 _"I didn't mean to be rude or anything it's just the passion you were drawing the girl with is incredible. Who ever that is, is a lucky girl to have you as a girlfriend."_

Danni saw the way Santana shrank when she said that. How the Latina just sank back down on the seat.

 _"OMG, I'm sorry. I usually say the wrong thing! Please don't be sad, a girl as beautiful as you should never be sad, you deserve the world. So do I need to go beat this girl up for breaking your heart, because I'll do it!"_

Santana can't help but crack a smile at the strangers antics. With the slightest quiver in her voice Santana replies.

 _"She was never mine to begin with and never will be."_

With that said Santana got up and was about to leave when Danni handed her a napkin with her number on it.

Danni was worried she had over stepped her boundaries since Santana hadn't come back for the past week. That Friday night Danni was about to give up when in came Santana clutching her sketch book in her hands. This had the blonde finally breathing again. She had come to care for the girl even though they had barely talked.

Danni calls to her boss that she's going on her break and follows Santana out the door. She sits on a bench close by that against a wall covered in ivy. It is semi private so that they could talk. The blonde knew Santana wasn't going to talk first.

 _"I didn't think you'd come back"_

 _"I didn't think I'd comeback."_

 _"Then why did you come back?"_

 _"Because this love and passion I have for her is eating me alive and I can't talk about it to anyone because, i'm in love with my best friend's girlfriend."_

 _"Oh wow—"_

That's all the girl could say as Santana silently cries next to a perfect stranger. So Danni continues

 _"Uh, well—I uh—I just. I've never been made speechless. But um—"_

 _"It's okay, I'm s-sorry for springing this on you. I just couldn't handle it anymore. Seeing them together it hurts but they are just the best couple. They are the perfect couple, but god how I wish they would break up, why am I such a horrible person? I mean I spend hours drawing her because i've memorized her gorgeous hazelnut brown eyes. Her perfect 1,000 mega watt smile. The way—uh, I'm sorry."_

 _"It's alright, I still have 15 minutes on my lunch break."_

Danni cracks a smile trying to lighten the mood. It worked to the extent that Santana slightly chuckled at the blonde girl. After that insanely dramatic conversation Danni and Santana became real good friends and Santana would frequent the coffee shop.

After sometime having Hemingway's all to herself Santana felt it was time to share this with her best friend because even though it hurt she still missed Rachel. The first time that Rachel came with her it was just the two of them. Santana was nervous that Danni might slip up and tell Rachel the real reason they don't hang out as much. But it turned out rather well without a hitch. Santana couldn't help but revel in the alone time she had with Rachel since she barely saw her anymore. Rachel was nervous to meet Santana's new friends. She really hoped they could get along so that she could spend more time with her best friend. The diva knows that she deserted her friend because she wanted to nurture her newly blossoming relationship with Quinn.

Rachel was grateful her girlfriend encouraged her to spend time with her best friend. Quinn had some catching up to do with Brittany aswell. Just thinking about Quinn a 1,000 watt smile graced her lips. Santana had looked over at Rachel to see her grinning like an idiot. This made the Latina warm and fuzzy to see her best friend happy. However her elation was short lived as she realized why she must be smiling. Santana cursed herself for being jealous when she has no reason to be.

 _"Thinking about Quinn, Rae?"_

The cheerleader had to bite back the sarcasm in her voice.

 _"Am I seriously that paper thin?"_

 _"No, I just know that look on your face."_

 _"I can't get anything past you, huh Tana."_

At the mention of her nickname Santana's heart is soaring.

 _"Shut up and stop being so sentimental you ass!"_

 _"Oh you're a bigger softy than I am Santana Aurora Lopez!"_

The cheerleader can't help but think how it would be like for Rachel to yell at her like that in the bedroom setting.

 _"Hey, Tana where did you go just now?"_

Santana slightly blushes from being caught.

 _"Santana? Are you blushing? Having some exceedingly dirty nasty thoughts are we?"_

 _"Well, duh! Unlike you and the ice queen I like sex!"_

 _"Oh you'd be surprised how much sex we have. That woman is insaitable, especially in the morning, why do you think we were late?"_

 _"Ew, that is one image I didn't need in my brain. Plus it wouldn't be any good, y'all are probably vanilla as fuck!"_

 _"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to Tana."_

 _"No shit! Tubbers gets down and kinky, I knew she'd be a top."_

 _"Oh, she's not the dominant, she makes an excellent pet though. I take excellent care of her no need to worry."_

Those words ring and resonate throughout Santana's mind. This sends her spiraling into a delicious day dream. She would be fully naked on her hands and knees only wearing a leather collar. Rachel would be standing in front of her in stilettos only wearing a matching bra and panty set from Victoria's Secret.

 _"Tana!"_

 _"Wha-What?"_

 _"Once again you just went off having dirty thoughts and ignoring me. Don't make me punish you, I don't believe you'll be able to take it."_

Santana wasn't sure if it was Rachel's dark sultry coarse voice or what she just said but it has Santana reeling. She can't really think straight with all the dirty thoughts swirling in her head. Rachel kept staring at her with a smug smirk and when she caught Santana's eye and Rachel winked at her.

The Latina couldn't have been happier to finally arrive at the coffee shop because she wasn't sure if she'd be able to be in that car with Rachel any longer without doing something she'd might regret. Santana gets out of the car and starts walking toward the coffee shop when she realizes Rachel isn't right behind her. The Latina turns around to see Rachel apprehensively standing with her door open. Walking back toward the passenger side Santana gave Rachel a quizzacal look.

 _"Hey Rach, what's wrong?"_

 _"I'm—uh, rather nervous believe it or not. I want them to like me because I really miss spending time with you."_

When Rachel says this she locks up brooding black eyes with her swirling chocolate showing her emotions. The Latina couldn't help but swoon at the words coming out of the diva's heart.

 _"You'll be fine Rach, they'll love you as much as I do. No one can withstand that Rachel Berry charm."_

Rachel flashes the Berry smile and grabs a hold of Santana's hand pulling in into the coffee shop. Once they walk in Santana expected Rachel to drop her hand but much to her dismay the diva kept a good grip on her hand and she didn't really want to let go anyhow.

The two-some walk up to the counter to see to baristas flash a smile at them. Before Rachel can even say anything Danni jumps in

 _"A Venti Triple Americano?"_

 _"Okay, that is exceedingly creepy. Please tell me your Danni and not some stranger trying to hit on me. I do have a wonderful girlfriend."_

 _"Rachel this is my friend Danni sometimes she doesn't know when not to talk."_

Santana gives Danni a pointed look but Rachel smiles at Danni's antics.

 _"This is the start of something beautiful."_

 _"I'm seriously gonna shut up now."_

 _"It's alright Danni, I'm really trying to get over her."_

 **So what did you guys think? Let me know with a review! Till next time!**


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